At FreeForums.org our mission is to provide communities with everything they need to be useful. But how can they be useful if you spent the majority of your time typing. Typing is not only very dangerous (carpal tunnel anyone?) but also time consuming and just plan boring. That's why we're pleased to announce the new FreeForums.org Auto-Poster™.
What is the Auto-Poster™?
The Auto-Poster™ is a new Superconducting Productivity Enhancing Three Dimensional Neuron Detecting, Translating, and Posting Peripheral from FreeForums.org that allows for typeless posting on any forum within our network. No we're not talking about voice recognition, the Auto-Poster™ is the first thought recognition device to ever be used for forum posting. Simply open up the posting page, and your thoughts will be automatically and securely transcribed into text.
How does the Auto-Poster™ work?
Well, you will never understand the long technical version of this answer. So instead of spending countless hours answering pointless questions, we will post the newbie version: our brains process data by sending electrical impulses called neurotransmitters between billions of neurons via axons running between synapses, much the same way jelly beans travel through your digestive system. The FreeForums.org patent pending Auto-Poster™ intercepts these signals, transcribes them into text, and filters out the meaningless material (we really don't care that you're hungry and neither would anyone else). It then sends this data to our large clusters of servers via the built in WiFi.
Is the Auto-Poster™ secure?
We understand brains contain private information. For that reason, all thoughts will be stored in aggregate form and removed from our servers after six months.
How much does it cost?
The Auto-Poster™ is totally free for you and your members. When the Auto-Poster™ device is active, it will create a magnetic field which allows us to send relevant advertisements right into your brain. We're able to instantly read your genetic profile and determine which advertisements would be most beneficial to you, as our customer. For example, if you make a post hungry, you may have a local restaurant pop up in your mind.
Wait -- so you're saying Auto-Poster™ injects thoughts about your sponsors into my brain?
Uh, yeah -- but otherwise it would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
What if I don't want to use the Auto-Poster™?
You have a keyboard, you know what to do. Just stop coming to us when your hands hurt, we gave you an alternative.
Where can I get the Auto-Poster™?
It's currently in BETA for a limiting number of users . However, if you nag us enough on the support forum we might give inand release it to everyone.